Mztic's Musings

2006-08-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

12:00 pm
"I was wondering if you could do me a favor.""Yes dear""Can you apply a hair pack to my hair..""What?""A hair pack. My hair is falling like crazy...""Oh my God! Tell me about it. I find your hair everywhere...just now I threw away a pile collected from the bathroom floor, not to mention the area near the dressing table...it is a blanket of your hair there..""Well you do tend to exaggerate..but anyways someone recommnded this pack and I think it will be better if someone else applies it rather than me doing it by myself...""I know darling! Its always better if someone else does it!""""What are you doing?""I don't think this was a good idea..so I am leaving.""Wait a sec...What happened?""If you keep cracking idiotic jokes like that..""Oh! Come on..surely I was just jesting..""So you will do it..""ofcourse..anything for you my dear and anything to get rid of the hair. I even have it under my chair at work...""""ok ok...to work. Where is the pack?""Thanks.Here it is..""WHAT IS THAT?""Its the hair pack I told you about..""What color is that? and why is it so gooey...!""Its a herbal pack...""Do I have to do this?""Well you just said you wanted to..""Well that was before I put my eyes on this ooey-gooey mess!""oh come on. Will you do it or not?""ulp!""I am waiting...""""What are you doing?""I am recalling my wedding vows...""Bah!""I am just wondering if I am bound to do this...""If you dont want to do this, you can say so""Yeah right! and never hear the end of it till the day I die!""WELL?""ok ok. Give it to me." "Here!""ughhhhhhhhhhh!""What now?""It smells like ewwwwwww!""What do you mean? I think it smells good..""Yeah that's what you think about your pefume too..""What's wrong with the perfume I use?""Well let's just say..it does not smell like ummmmmmmmm!""oh shut up and start!""Do I have to touch this thing?""You can use this brush...""Oh! Thank God. I would not like to feel that thing...""Its called a hair pack..""You sure you want this thing to go into your hair...""START""Yes, yes. So what do I do?""Take this comb. Part the hair a little and apply the pack to the scalp with the brush.""That's easy. Give me the comb""What are you doing?""I am trying to part your hair..""I feel like you are pulling it out of its roots..""Well what do I do if your hair refuses to part gently?""Its hair not grass..""Well it feels like it!""Aww shut up.""How come all those woman have such nice shiny long straight hair and yours is ...""...mine is?""well you know...not so nice shiny long straight hair!""Because I am married to you!""huh?""What else? The stress gets to my hair I guess!""Very funny. OK so I part the hair and then what?""Take the brush, dip it in the pack and apply it to the scalp""OK here goes..""What are you doing now?""Its difficult to get to the scalp with this brush""That's because you are holding the brush wrong. You hold it like you are painting and just rub the pack in with a single stroke..."
12:21 pm
"Gotcha!"
12:22 pm
"owwwww! owwww! owww!""What?""Good Lord! Its my scalp..don't dig in so hard.""I am sorry! But this thing is hard to do..""What is so hard about it? Its such a simple thing! Just part hair and apply hair pack!""Well you are discounting the quality of hair and the fact that the thing drips!""How can you be so clumsy as not to be able to do such a simple thing!""Any one will find this challenging!""I Can do it by myself you know. I just thought you could do a better job of it. Boy! Was I wrong!"12:30 pm
"Sit still. I think I am getting the knack of it."
12:35 pm
"Its been 5 minutes and you are still where you were!""Well excuse me, but this is the first time in my life I am doing something like this...!""How can you men make the simplest of things appear so complex..""And how can you women stand such things being done to you...""Bah!""Bah!""So what is this thing made up of?""Lots of herbs good for your hair I guess.""It seems like this is just Mehendi..""Its not!""I would say they are shamming people into believing its something more than Mehendi when it is not..!""It is not just Mehendi. There's some of it, but its not all!""I say its all Mehendi.""Now you are an expert on these things..""Well you know how it is..if its looks like Mehendi and smells somewhat like Mehendi, then it must be Mehendi""No one asked for your expert opinion""You better keep quiet. Your head is in my hands you know!""Bah!"
1:15 pm.
"Its more than half hour and you are not even done with even half of it!""I am not an expert as you so expertly pointed out some time ago.""Even a kid could do it faster..""Well you know I tend to be more thorough than a kid, unlike some people who just rush through things...""Well its better to rush through things than die doing one thing in life""Its how well you do it that matters. Not how fast!""hmmmm! I shall remember that for some other time..""LOL!"
1:45 pm."I am falling asleep. Are you done yet?""Almost darling. I am just making sure that no part of the scalp remains untouched!""My body is aching. I cant sit like this forever you know..!""Its almost done!"
2:03 pm."Ok that's it! Enough!" "Almost darling..""PLEASE!""Oh come on! You should thank me for so much personal attention. Who else except me would do this for you? Tell me.""I know but still, I dont want to die doing this you know!""Bah! You dont even get appreciated around here!"
2:15 pm"I should kill myself for this!""Why?""Knowing how slow you could be, I put my head in your hands!""I am NOT slow. I am just very thorough!""Thats an excuse you make for yourself..""Excuse me! Its like you are doing me a favor for letting me do this.""Well all I can say is that it is not the brightest thing I did!""bah! What does one do to get appreciated around here?""Whatever it is, it has to be faster than this I can tell you!"
2:32 pm."There! done!""huh?""Did you doze off?""Well! There was no other way I could have gotten through this!""So what are you supposed to do next?""I have to take a shower to wash this thing off!""It says here you have to keep it for an hour before washing it off!""Yeah but it does not say that you have to do that when you take 2 hours to apply it!""Well you can thank me now!""Aww! Shut up!""bah! Women!"
3:00 pm"So what do you think?""About what?""My hair, ofcourse you idiot!""Of course, Of course! hmmm...""Well!""is there supposed to be a difference!""Well there better be after this ordeal!""I really cant say!""Its kind of matted no?""It feels like cardboard!""It was sham! I told ya..!""It was not sham! You took 2 hours to apply it. Well looks like there was some reaction and this is the result...!""[mmmpf]""Stop that!""Well looks like the hair pack did solve the problem of falling hair!""How so?""It seems like after using it there would be no more hair to fall!""Bah!""[mmmmmmpf]"

Hair Pack!

2006-08-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

Bah!

2005-11-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

"I did nothing of that sort.."
"Oh! but you did!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean what I say."
"Oh! Do you really?"
"Now don't take this any other way."
"So what is this all about?"
"This is about how you brushed me away brusquely when my leg brushed past yours.."
"What?"
"Now don't ask me again what do I mean. You heard me."
"I did not do that!"
"oh! but you did..."
"When?"
"Early morning today..."
"What was I doing?"
"Pushine me away brusquely.."
"No I meant what was I doing when I was doing that..."
"I told you..you pushed me away!"
"Could we stop saying that please. I categorically state that I did push you away."
"So are you saying that I am lying.."
"I am saying nothing of the sort.."
"Or all this is a figment of imagination?"
"Whoa!Whoa!Slow down. Slow down"
"Bah!"
"Bah! to you too..."
"Don't you dare bah me after being so rough with me..."
"I most certainly was not..."
"You were.."
"Well in that case I do not remember"
"That's you all right. You only want to remember what you WANT to remember. Not what actually happened"
"Well you are right there!"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Well..err..just that I do no like to remember certain things that actually happened!"
"Are you hinting at something that I am sure you would not want me to catch on?"
"Ofcourse not dear!"
"Then you better stop the hinting"
"Yes, I better"
"So where were we?"
"You were unfairly accusing me..."
"Why would I do that? You think I am psychotic or something?"
"Well I would not have said that earlier..."
"So you are saying that now.."
"Well you most certainly are behaving like one!"
"What happened to all the vases?"
"You broke all of them"
"Didn't I ask you to get a fresh supply?"
"To break them again? What do you think, money grows on trees"
"oho! You give me the money grows on trees when I want something. Where does the money come from that you spend on buying all those T-shirts of yours"
"What do you mean?"
"Have you ever counted how many you have? You must have reached a century long back!"
"Yes, I think you are veering towards psychosis!"
"Well at least I am not obsessive about my clothes!"
"Neither am I!"
"Ha! Who gets stuck in the Clothes Aisle everytime we go shopping!"
"I am just looking.."
"Yep until you buy a couple.."
"Well if there is a good sale, why not!"
"Does a sale mean you are not spending money?"
"Well it means you are saving for when you would have to buy some clothes and nothing is on sale"
"Why would anyone who has more than a hundred pieces of the same clothing ever want to buy some more?"
"Bah!"
"Bah! to you too."
""
""
""
""
"I am still waiting for your apology!"
"What apology?"
"Apology over forcibly pushing me away this morning.."
"Oh from brusing away to brusquely brushing away to pushing away, now it has reached the proportion of being a forceful push!"
"Well that was what it was!"
"Prove it!"
"What?"
"You heard me. Prove it."
"My word is proof enough."
"It is not!"
"And why not? When have I lied to you?"
"Huh? Are you asking me that for real?"
"OK..OK..when have I lied to you over things like this?"
"You are talking as if these things happen routinely"
"Who knows? They might be starting to.."
"Oh! Come on, I would never do that intentionally now, would I?"
"And how would I know that?"
"Seriously, you think I would push you away"
"yes"
"what?"
"yes I said."
"Bah!"
"Stop those bahs! If it is anyone, it should be I who should be mouthing those!"
"I proclaim my innocence.."
"And I hold you guilty"
"First tell me when was this and how did it happen.."
"Well we were sleeping.."
"Hold on. Hold on. So I was sleeping?"
"Yes"
"And you are still holding my actions against me?"
"Of course I am."
"But dearest I was sleeping. So how am I supposed to be responsible for doing things when I am almost unconcious!"
"So if you were to kill me tomorrow in your sleep, you will not be responsible?"
"Hoo boy! You know how to dramatize..don't you?"
"Well...I am trying to make you understand."
"understand what?"
"That you were not being a gentleman!"
"oh!"
"So apologize.."
"ok meri amma. I apologlize for my ungentlemanly behavior as your were sleeping.."
"Hmmm that doesn't sound right!"
"Hee hee"
"Bah!"

The Visit

2005-03-30T11:10:00.000-08:00

'I have some news for you'
'uh-oh! This can't be good!'
'What do you mean by that?'
'You know how it is. No news is good news.'
'Aww shut up now will you?'
'Consider it done!'
'You know s and f?'
'Yeah unfortunately...'
'What would you take for not interrupting me?'
'I was just answering your question'
'That was not a question. It was an observation that generally leads to something more'
'Technically it is still a question'
'You still haven't shut up...'
'ok ok...so what's up with them?'
'Well, they are visiting our city this weekend..'
'Aaan-haan...so?'
'What's with that tone?'
'What tone?'
'That tone you reserve especially for moments like these...'
'You are hearing things...'
'And you are saying things. Well anyways, so they will come and visit us..'
'[grumble,grumble]'
'Did I hear something again?'
'Now you are imagining things. This weekend you said?'
'Yes'
'Could they not have given us some advance notice'
'Well they planned it suddenly'
'Without giving a thought to the fact that the people they intend to visit could be busy'
'Pray what are you so busy with?'
'That does not matter. I could have been you know'
'What I know is that you have done nothing but lounge around the house doing absolutely nothing for as many weekends as I care to remember'
'Well that is you. Always looking the worst in me...'
'I try to look for something else. Can't find anything!'
'Look harder!'
'I have!'
'harumph!'
'What happens to you when people come to see us?'
'Its a hassle you have to admit that!'
'Socializing is not a hassle and these happen to be our best friends for crying out loud!'
'I object at the use of the word our in that statement of yours'
'Well they are your friends too'
'So what? I would not have a problem if they came for a couple of hours, had dinner and left but no sir, these good friends of yours think to visit is to visit for the whole weekend'
'Well we are going to see them after like 2 years'
'Just 2 years! God! What's with people wanting to see each other at such short intervals?'
'You can be such a jerk you know that!'
'Another flowery adjective I see'
'I cannot for the life of me understand what you are grumbling about. It would be so nice to see them and their two children after such a long time.'
'The children are coming too? [groan!]'
'What did you think? That they would be vacationing without their kids?'
'At least that would have been better for us'
'What can a 5 year old do to you?'
'The last time I saw him, he almost bit off my finger. I shudder to think that he has grown stronger!'
'oh come of it! Don't exaggerate things that much. I know what this is all about?'
'What?'
'The cricket match you want to watch!'
'Now I can't, can I?'
'Serves you right!'
'I think you planned this all along!'
'Now you are imagining things!'
'Damn right I am with the way you have been sabotaging my weekends!'
'What?'
'Last week it was the damn party, the week before it was the shopping for the damn party, the week before it was grocery shopping...!'
'Well we have to eat you know'
'...always something or the other!'
'Its useless arguing with you...just wanted to let you know'
'Not to mention that our precious time together would be tampered with!'
'We spend time together always'
'Just when I had planned all this elaborate stuff I was gonna surprise you with'
'That's not gonna work you know'
'What's not gonna work?'
'The bluffing to get off the hook for forgetting my birthday'
'I wasn't bluffing!'
'You were!'
'Prove it!'
'What was the surprise?'
'huh?umm..aan...I am still thinking about it!'
'Hence proven!'

*tring,tring*
'Ok! That's fine! Don't worry about it!'
'What is it?'
'It was them?'
'And?'
'They will not be able to make it...'
'Oh good! I can watch my cricket match in peace'
''
'What?'
''
'What?'
'I thought you said you were planning a surprise for me. Why don't you get on with it?'
'bang,bang,bang'
'Don't bang it too hard on your head. It might break you know. The vase I mean!'
'I still say you planned it all along!'
'Whatever do you mean darling?'

Of Exs and First Loves

2005-01-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

'You know me. I am scandal-free!'
'Scandal free? An ex in every class is not exactly being scandal free'
'oh! I was young then...'
'Yeah right. So its all right to have scandals when you are young'
'I would not call that a scandal'
'So what would you call it'
'Just hormomes'
'Yeah right'
'Unlike yours..'
'What do you mean mine?'
'You know all your escapades in college...'
'hullo? What escapades...you were my one true last escapade (unfortunately)'
'What about A____?'
What about A_____?'
'You know your first love'
'You are my first love'
'Yeah right. What about A___?'
'A___ was just a crush and you damn well know it'
'A crush that lasted for 2 years. My, my that's quite a crush indeed'
'Well yes it was a crush. I was just a teenager'
'20 is not teenage'
'Well 19 is and that's when it started.'
'And went on and on and on...'
'Its not like we were going out or something'
'Yeah it was more like aankhon hi aankhon mein ishaara ho gaya, right?'
'You have a penchant for making mountains of mole-hills'
'And you my dear were in love with A____'
'That's what you say...'
'That's what each one of our friends say...'
'They don't know anything...'
'Yes you are the only one who knows'
'This is the first sane thing that you have said in the entire conversation...'
'So what was the kiss then?'
'Kiss? What kiss?'
'Remember you told me about it...'
'That was NOT a kiss'
'Then pray what was it?'
'More like a peck..'
'Yeah right. You have a way of twisting things you know that'
'I call a spade a spade that's all'
'And you call a love a crush and a kiss a peck'
'At least I was not going around kissing strangers'
'That was a one time occurence!'
'Well works for me.'
'And there were only one set of lips involved'
'What about S____? What about all that making out?'
'I was a teenager then. You certainly would not hold that against me?'
'I was a teenager too!'
'Well there is a difference in being a teenager at 13 and one at 19!'
'A spade is a spade'
'And a kiss is a kiss. Why can't you just admit it?'
'Admit what?'
'That you were in love and that you kissed!'
'That did not happen!'
'Yeah its all my imagination...'
'Most of it is!'
'Hah!'
'Hah!Yourself...'
'By the way. A____ called yesterday'
'Old Flame. Old Flame'
'Shut up. Shut up'
'I won't! I won't'
'God you are such a kid!'
'And you are such a baby!'
''
''
'So you are not talking to me now?'
'There is nothing to talk about!'
'How about telling me the story of your first love'
'I am married to my first love and that is the entire story'
'More like the third...'
'Third? What do you mean third? Who's the second?'
'Ah-ha. So you admit there is a first!'
'I admit nothing of that sort...'
'You just did!'
''
''
''
''
'Say something...'
''
'oooh! You are transported into old times aren't you?'
''
'Thinking about old times?'
'Yes'
'What?'
'Why I did not push you off the balcony when you said you loved me!'
'Errr let's go dear'
'Why?'
'Suddenly I do not feel very comfortable standing on the balcony...'